15 Dumb Things You Shouldn’t Say in a Men’s Room
When it comes to being in a public restroom, the less said, the better.
Get in, do your business and get out. You don’t need to strike up a friendship. Really, all you need to do is clean out your system and continue with your day. So, if for some reason, you’re a loquacious fellow looking to form a bond, we recommend none of the following sentences ever leave your lips:
1. “I’ve never seen something that big. Or purple.”
2. “They’re out of paper towels. Do you mind if I use your shirt?”
3. “Can I have a hug?”
4. “Welcome to my one-man production of ‘Urinetown.’”
5. “I took all the soap out of the dispensers and replaced them with Tabasco sauce.”
6. “Do you have a pen? I’d like to let people know who they can call for a good time.”
7. “I took the air out of the hand dryers and replaced them with snot.”
8. “I’m about to release what I can only describe as a ‘Swiss missile.’”
9. “I took the water out of the toilet and replaced it with battery acid, so don’t splash.”
10. “Wow, that burns.”
11. “Can I spot you?”
12. “I just ate Mexican, so now would be a good time to clear out.”
13. “Can you spot me?”
14. “You need to work on your aim.”
15. “Let’s play a little game I like to call ‘Naked Plumber.’”
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